Article: So What If She Said Yes

From Guest Blogger: Carol Norris

So What If She Said Yes

At no point did the survivor of the brutal gang rape in Richmond consent to sex. She's made that very clear.

But, so what if she had? The subtext of the headline of the following article brings up one of the myths about sexual assault. It pervades our culture and our media: if a survivor at any point during an encounter says "yes," then somehow all bets are off. "She asked for it." "It's not really sexual assault." "He's a tease." "You can't really blame the perpetrator."

What?! Coercing someone by force or threat to engage in unwanted sexual activity is sexual assault. Period. Nowhere does the law say, "but if you said yes then you have no right to say no." When consensual sex becomes sexual assault it can create confusion and shame in some survivors. That's where volunteers can help. You can let your clients know:

You have the right to say yes and then think better of it.
You have the right to realize your boundaries have been crossed and to change that boundary.
You have the right to expect a sexual partner to have the common sense to realize if you lose consciousness you can't consent, and it's time to back off.

You did not ask for it. You are not a tease. And, yes, it's just as much assault as any sexual assault. And, hell yes, you can hold the perpetrator accountable.


http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/11/22/BAK21GFSF5.DTL&tsp=1